“The art of being alone” Solitude is my home, loneliness was my cage by Renuka Cavrani, a well written book that makes me realize the importance of loneliness. The book contains 11 life changing chapters. Each chapter has a lifelong lesson that teaches you a different life. The author said, “It is quite ironic but your biggest enemy and critic is no one else but you. We often failed to recognize the symbol of our failure because we did not recognize ourselves completely as who we actually are and what is the meaning of loneliness and being alone. Taylor swift said once, “ the scary news is, you are on your own now. But the cool news is, you are on your own now.” As we think that being alone means being lonely. No dear, that is not true. Being alone doesn't mean you are alone. Being alone means you are with yourself. The book contains many chapters but let's discuss a few chapters which are more exciting rather than exhausting.
The very first chapter I liked the most is: The Pain of Hiding Your True self. “ The most painful and scariest thing in the world is to look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring right at you. It simply means that sometimes we make mistakes and any builder but we can't recognize them. That is where I did. We always try to hide our misconceptions but it is better we should be ourselves the way we actually are. Loneliness is not when you don't have people around you. Loneliness occurs when you can't find yourself inside you. The moment you feel the loss of your real self. That's when loneliness makes a home inside you. The more you hide your mistakes the more loneliness occurs. The writer says a good write up is, “ there are some days when you miss yourself more than you have ever messed with anyone else.”
Second chapter that captured me is: How to be you. For how long are you going to be different from different people? You try to be different from all around. Different from your partner, different from your boss, different from parents and different from your loved ones. And all of this, you lost the real you. You lost your real essence, your real self. You always think about others but you never think of you. The author wrote a great idea that self-love starts with self-acceptance. You start loving those times when you accept yourself as you actually are. Knowing yourself means that what you think, how to think, what is your nature and no matter bad or good but accept them then you start growing. The more your mind accepts defeat the better growth starts coming. Use your alone time to know yourself.
Third chapter that has a profound impact on me is: Learn to belong to yourself. Knowing how to belong to yourself is an art in a world where everyone is finding their home in others. It might sound a little bit rude but here is the truth about life, nothing stays forever. People who you love today might leave you or you might leave them soon. The thing that you liked 3 months back might hate them today. The job for which you worked hard to have it at that time but might not want to have it today. It is better we should recognize ourselves and accept it the way we are today. If you never learned how to belong to yourself, you will end up feeling lonely every time someone leaves you.
Conclusion: the book, “ the art of being alone changed me and my life with its tremendous potential and the way the book is needed appreciation. Remember this thing that when you are alone, you are dealing with one mind, one opinion and one perspective. It is better we should recognize ourselves and start growing. The writer says, “ In the race of finding people we lost ourselves. I want to finish it with a great saying which is, “ learn to define your definition of everything. Don't make your life a wish list of what you think everyone has.
Ijaz Sal Muhammad
Kolowaha Ashall
